HAPPY NEW YEAR! MUSINGS FROM SALT SPRING ISLAND
JANUARY 1, 2015
May every one of your hearts’ desires come to you this year
in the form of miracles and blessings beyond your wildest dreams.
I am very proud of this beautiful fire. I know it looks like the simulated kind you download as a screen saver which even comes with crackling sounds. But I assure you, it is not. This is a real one in a real fire place in this real house tucked in the woods where I have been cat sitting for almost two weeks now. Just days before I was invited here, I was earnestly asking The Universe to help slow down. Then, I received an email from a friend telling me about this opportunity on this majestic island, only a ferry ride from where I live, to nestle in with Rasta, a wise, gentle, old cat. Once again, I thanked The Universe for answering my prayers.
Yes, tranquility and silence prevail here but as is typical, I forgot how to remove my running shoes. I arrived here as driven as ever setting out to tackle the many projects I brought with me. I simply transferred overwhelm from my house in the city to this one in the country.
Two days ago, my dear friend, Debora Seidman, also a writer and writing coach in Taos, New Mexico, http://www.deboraseidman.com/ said to me, “Junie, do you ever take a day off?” This question was born out of my lament on how much I had hoped to accomplish but was letting myself down. And beyond that, I was upset that I would be letting another person down – someone who I told I would have completed a book during my time away. It felt so do-able since he gave me a very simple formula to follow. And it will be. Just not now, it seems.
That question, “Junie, do you ever take a day off?” stopped me dead in my tracks. Perhaps better said, stopped me “alive” in my tracks. I suddenly became alive to the fact that the answer to that was “No. No, in fact, I do not ever take a day off!” Good grief, is that true? Yes. Embarrassingly, it is.
On days that I have social engagements and other non-related work activities, inevitably, I will find myself at my computer at some point before collapsing into bed, driving out another idea for a client or a workshop or a book or something else. Or a thank you note I forgot to send. Then back to the computer to send it.
Yes, that question, posed in the midst of madness, offered me an Ah-ha moment one more time. No, of course it is not the first time I have asked for guidance to step off the hamster wheel. And it wouldn’t be the first time I have been shown myriad ways of how to do it. Nor would it be the first time I am choosing to do it. But I am stating my intention out loud. I am choosing to walk off the frenetic train that never stays in a station long enough to enjoy the view.
Do I really need another course, another book, another webinar, seminar, workshop, guru or anything else to tell me what I know to be the truth? And simply put, God is in the details. When I truly surrender my will to God’s will, ALL will be done. It will be done at the right time and in the right order. I know this stuff. I’ve seen proof again and again.
Sometimes I am a slow learner. Or, like most of us, it’s returning to what we have learned when we forget it. But I am currently asking myself, how many more times do I need to be reminded to meditate, come back to the moment, take breaks, listen to the wee small voice inside, dance as if no-one is watching, be kind to my inner child, do self-nurturing things, live in gratitude, be kind, love others as I would want to be loved, listen to the sound of the babbling brook?
At some point we all must lay down our resistance and surrender to the higher truth. This is my moment. Another one of many – but I will allow for my humanness and try not to judge. Instead I offer compassion for the child in me that felt she had to accomplish great things in order to be loved.
Oh, there are many stories that have been running me – but I’m the “Re-Write Your Life” girl. I am ready to release those stories, forgive myself and anyone associated with them for what those stories caused me to believe about myself. Today I am choosing to let all of that go. With love.
One of the awesome things I did over these past few days was let go of hundreds of photographs and pages from journals that were no longer relevant. Photos of old lovers and friends that I was ready to release.
While the photos burned into flames and became ashes, I thanked every person in every one. I thanked them for the part they played in my life. For the good times and the times that were heart breaking. I gave my forgiveness and I asked for their forgiveness in return. I blessed and released each one.
And as I read journal entries, the same. I realized the only moments I want to live are the ones I am living now. What I wrote then was relevant then. As perceptions changed, so did the story I attached to it.
So, it’s New Year’s Day. I am alone with a precious cat on my lap and at this moment the sun is shining through the trees . It’s time to go for a walk. And I shall contemplate the word written in The Course in Miracles, “Do nothing and all gets done.” Simply put, when I let go and truly listen, I am led.
Today I am choosing to listen. Today I have but one main intention for this new year and that is to surrender my will to Divine Intelligence that is always there and always willing to guide me when I let go of my frenetic busyness. Oh, I have dreams and desires and if they show up, then they were meant for me. Just as this solitary re-treat showed up. It still required a certain consciousness to make it into something meaningful.
Perhaps it was the prayer that I said in earnest to help me slow down. And then, by way of an important question that came from my dear friend, Debora, the penny dropped. Had it not, this paradisiacal setting would just be a different location to be busy.
Now I am going to go out and say hello to nature. The trees and the sky and the ocean are calling and so are my songs of praise and gratitude. I am truly so grateful to be alive and grateful for the gift of friends and family and loved ones near and far. Oh, to have this life. This precious, miraculous life. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You!
Later Okay… God really does have a sense of humour. Today, as with all days, I took a different route on my walk around the island. And look where I was guided? If that’s not a sign (on a sign) that God is listening – or is it that I’m listening – or are we One and The Same that is listening? Whatever – It’s a definite sign and I’m taking heed!
Later Still. Next morning…Jan. 2nd I awoke this morning remembering the awesome tools that helped me to focus, stay grounded and balanced. I bought the program, it was working but then stopped applying it. Yup, I fell off the wagon, but that’s not a problem. I’m back on it now with Tom Evan’s Living Timefully programme – which is time management with mindfulness at its core.
If you are anything like me and have been rushing around in overwhelm trying to complete the never ending to do list – (which Tom reframed as a To Love List where we put more of what we love to do into each day while getting everything done, then please join me. You can find the information here.
http://www.tomevans.co/ecourses/living-timefully/
Now, as promised: Dessert!